Jacklyn Henry

 kissing cousins’

four and half days across the country

from Los Angeles to Syracuse

to visit my parents families

 

i had no interest in

sitting on a couch

chit-chating

or

catching up

 

my cousin Valerie comes to my rescue and

takes me to meet her friends

down at a Dairy Queen

just off a one lane highway

in a town of seventy-eight people

 

she assumes a California kid

smokes a lot of pot and i didn’t

and she laughs when

i try and cough up a lung

 

we stand around laughing

and joking

until stars come out

and the girl running the Dairy Queen

put the Closed sign up

 

my cousin tells me stories

of abuse and fights

and a family that doesn’t care

 

i couldn’t  relate

but i try

 

as fireflies begin to dance

in a wet dreary night

we embrace

and she kisses me

as lonely people

sometimes do

even if they are cousins

 

at 15 i had never kissed a girl

not for lack of trying

and when i finally did

it became another secret

not to be shared

 

when we finally

drove away

for our next destination

i watch the world swallow

her up

and

i cry

 

knowing she would never

be free

and

i eventually

 

would